there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
