They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
