This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
