Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
