Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.

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(708): View more from Illinois

I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza

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(804): View more from Virginia

French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...

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(856): View more from New Jersey

and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out

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(516): View more from New York

You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito

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(785): View more from Kansas

What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.

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(334): View more from Alabama

I just found out why people like handcuffs.

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