No subtext here. People are naked.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
