Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
