Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
