i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
