And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
