I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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