I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I am one with the molecules
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
