Sry I called you an 8
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
