We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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