And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
