It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Pooping to opera.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
