I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
where am i from again
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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