a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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