Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
