Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
