Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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