NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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