We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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