If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Houston, we have a squirter
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
