I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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