Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
