Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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