My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
