piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
