6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
