My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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