I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
