he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
