good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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