porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
