i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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