You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
