do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
