Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
