We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
