Don't you send me to vm
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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