He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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