I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
