i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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