I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm really busy with my period
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