she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I party with great urgency now.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
