i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
