and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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