Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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