You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
